Fast Forward through 2 years 2 doctors & 2 miscarriages

Believe it or not in February 2005 we found out I was pregnant, again. The doctor was optimistic because my HCG counts were good and a lot higher and better than those of the pregnancy in December of 2004. Matter of fact, it would seem that we got pregnant the first cycle after the Methotrexate injection, which was not planned. Yes we were having unprotected sex, but conception wasn't something that happened very easily for us. The doctor shared her genuine excitement and stated she thought this could be the one!

We were cautiously optimistic because we had had so many disappointments in the past. Unfortunately, as we approached the six week mark, I miscarried again. The doctor said it more than likely happened too soon after the injection and it was nature's way of discarding an undeveloped baby. She expressed true compassion and explained she understood that it didn't make my loss any easier.

Well, I got very comfortable with this OB/GYN, but unfortunately her practice was no longer in my insurance's network. So, for my 2005 annual, I had to find a new doc. Of course, when you go in for your annual they ask all the same questions. So, this new doctor thought it was in our best interest if we sought an infertility specialist. Been there done that. Yes, we wanted (still want) another baby, but first, we didn't have the resources/funds to go to an infertility specialist and second, we thought that should be reserved for those couples who had empty arms. Luckily, before my 2006 annual was due my old OB/GYN's practice was back in the network. Unfortunately, the month before my annual we had a positive home pregnancy test, which we waited out and after a week of finding out I was pregnant we loss that pregnancy too.

When I went in for my annual in August of 2006, my doctor and I talked about options. Since I was currently at my heaviest weight, she had suggested losing 10% of my body weight because sometimes that is just enough to jump start the reproductive system in females. So, in September, Cassie started a nutritional class at our co-op and I was the teacher's helper. We learned a lot about reading labels, the importance of the food pyramid, calorie intake, and portion control. So I started applying things I learned and was focusing on losing some weight hoping it would help. By October I had lost five pounds. I was motivated and optimistic that this lifestyle change could be beneficial.

By March of 2007 I had lost 14% of my body weight, I had lost 35 pounds. BUT nothing had changed. I was still having problems with my menstrual cycle and we still hadn't achieved a viable pregnancy. It was frustrating and I was very angry. WHY?? Why was the best gift being taken away from me, from us?? What did I do wrong to deserve this much pain?