2004 - A Blurr till the end of the year

Well, much of 2004 is a blurr. All I remember is having to find yet, another new doctor because our insurance changed, my husband still worked for the same company, but they found a need to change carriers. 

The new doctor I found was awesome.  She was compassionate and encouraging.  Of course, though, she wanted to run her own gamut of tests and see if something had been overlooked or had changed. It had been a while since I had any cycles with Glucophage and Clomid so she wanted to see if we had a different result this time.  We went through the recommended number of cycles before she wanted, well she did, to refer us to the reproductive specialist.  Again, we explained our insurance coverage was miniscule so we wouldn't be able to afford any services from the reproductive specialist.  However, she recommended going to see what his recommendations were.  So, we went for our consultation and the doctor labeled my condition as a "habitual aborter." 

Keep in mind by 2003, they had ruled out a male factor, my husband was definitely not the problem.  So here the burden laid upon me.  I was the problem.  I could get pregnant, but couldn't stay pregnant. It was my fault.  What was I doing wrong?  Okay, I'm not a skinny mama, but at the time I wasn't much bigger than I had been when we conceived Mackenzie.  I didn't (still don't) smoke or drink excessively (yeah, I have an ocassional drink, but nothing to put me out).  I was taking dietary supplements, but I lacked (still do) excercise.  So, why?  What is so different now from our first, to our second, to out third pregnancy which were sucessfully carried to full term?

We explained to the reprocutive/fertility specialist that we wanted to increase or enhance our chances of a viable pregnancy.  We really didn't want to incur a lot in medical expenses, let alone we didn't have much to go towards any of the services offered. He graciously explained what his services were and if we were not able to commit he understood.  He prescribed a few cycles with the clomid and told us to use the ovulation predicting kits, which we had become quite familiar with over the years.  There was no success.

Well, after going in for my annual with my OB/GYN she agreed to put me on and keep me on Glucophage to help maintain lower insulin levels because that seemed to keep me on regular cycles. 

On December 14, 2004 I had to phone my OB/GYN because I was in so much excruciating pain.  Nothing, non of the over the counter meds I had tried were relieving the pain.  I was doubled over and trying to rest.  My last menstrual cycle was Dec. 2 so I was only on day 13.  The doctor thought maybe it was a cyst that had ruptured so they brought me in for an ultrasound.  They couldn't find or see anything that would be causing so much pain.  The doctor ordered a blood panel and within 24 hours she had called to inform me I was pregnant and she wanted to know how the pain was.  I was still in pain, but the meds she had prescribed were taking the edge off.

Here we go again . . . every other day into the office to have blood drawn.  Each call brought unwelcoming results.  My HCG counts were going up, BUT they weren't doubling, almost, but not quite like they should be.  With that and the pain I was in, the doctor said these were indications of an ectopic pregnancy.  After seven days of blood draws, the doctor thought it best to terminate the pregnancy before there was any damage to my fallopian tube.  What does that mean??

You mean I have to willingly and knowingly make a concious decision to terminate another pregnancy.  The doctor explained that there was not going to be a good outcome to this pregnancy, especially if I continued on and ended up with a ruptured tube.  So, to preserve my fertility, if you can call it that, she ordered a Methotrexate injection.  I had to go to St. Ann's chemotherapy department for the injection.

When they took me back to the treatment area the nurse explained the side effects and then said we should wait a year before trying to conceive.  WAIT!!  I wasn't told that.  Do you know how long we've been trying to conceive without success.  So, she phoned my OB/GYN and I talked, sobbed, and listened to her.  She assured me we wouldn't have to wait a year, at least 3 - 6 months.  She explained there needs to be enough time to make sure there are no remnants of the pregnancy left and that the medication has had time to leave my system.  After the injection, I had to go in once a week to make sure the pregnancy hormone levels dropped and continued to drop indicating the termination of the pregnancy.  I was cleared of the pregnancy in mid January of 2005.  We lost another baby.