Why share now??

One might ask, "Why now? Why share your struggle?"  You see we have been stuck between these two worlds ever since 1996, but it has really been evident since 2001, and there is always a trigger, a reminder, of our struggle.  When those triggers arise, there is a waterfall of emotions.  Sadness. Anger. Frustration. Heartache. Loneliness. Such triggers include the arrival of the monthly visitor, an announcement of an expectant parent, annual doctor's visits, our kids talking about wanting another sibling, and most recently a medical diagnosis.

You see, prior to our first miscarriage, in October of 2001, my monthly visitor arrived like clock work every 28 days, but after our loss there was no rhyme or reason to her arrival.  Which made (makes) trying to conceive more complicated. Of course, not one doctor can pinpoint the cause.  They can rule out reasons, but can't explain the difficulty of getting pregnant nor the cause of the seven miscarriages.  At one point, I was told, "Well, you can get pregnant, but you can't stay pregnant."  Keep in mind, getting pregnant didn't come easy or quickly though.  What might typically work for one couple actually seems to make our infertility worse.  Clomid & progesterone treatments actually had adverse effects on my ovulation rather than helping.  Doing nothing gets us no where, but trying something seems to work against us, too.

With our recent move to North Dakota and with my medical history I thought it be best to establish care and at least have an annual done since it had been almost two years.  You see, the females on my mother's side of the family seem to have issues to with their female health and with that family history I want to stay on top of things.  In 2003, my mother was diagnosed with Complex Hyperplasia with Atypia of the endometrial lining and had to have a hysterectomy.  I never even thought about it.  All of my doctors know my medical history and I thought I had shared my mother's because typically we inherit our mother's ailments. 

At my annual visit, in November '09, the physician's assistant asked the typical questions and did the exam.  Well, after the exam she recommended an ultrasound to evaluate my endometrial lining because of my sporadic cycles and heavy bleeding.  She explained to me that my symptoms could be an indication of a condition known as hyperplasia. Oh yeah, my mom had that. : (  Well, based on my age, being over 35, this condition is common especially with my given symptoms. 

Sure enough, the ultrasound indicated that my endometrial lining was at least three times as thick as it needs or should be.  So, in early December I had to go in for an endometrial biopsy.  Of course, the week I waited for the results all I could think about was my mom and how she had to have a hysterectomy.  What if I had it too?  What if I have to have a hysterectomy at the young age of 37?  We still want to have another baby, if I have what my mom had then that will never happen and it won't be my choice. 

Well, I went in for the results and found out I have Simple Hyperplasia without Atypia of the endometrial lining.  What does that mean?  Hyperplasia occurs when the cells of the endometrial lining grow abnormally and thicken the lining, and some kinds can lead to uterine cancer.  There are four stages and I have the earliest stage, where as my mother, by the time she was diagnosed, was at the final stage before the cancer.  As with any disease, early detection and treatment is the best defense. 

Well, the first approach of treatment, especially since we want to preserve my fertility (LOL) is a few months of hormone treatment, progesterone specifically, to try and thin the endometrial lining, naturally - if you will.  The PA explained the progesterone would/should thin the lining and while on the meds, I would not have a menstrual cycle.  Now keep in mind none of this made any sense. Number one, if the lining is suppose to thin, where's it going to go if I'm not menstruated. Number two, over the years I had been put on progesterone the last half of my cycle to help sustain a viable pregnancy - yeah, it never worked either.

Of course, I'm not the typical patient.  Six days after starting the meds, I started spotting then bleeding and after two weeks of bleeding I phoned the doctor's office.  The doctor on call reviewed my file and said it was find my body was just adjusting to the meds.  Well, another week went by, so now I had been bleeding for three weeks, so I phoned the office again to inquire because it wasn't letting up, it was getting heavier.  The next day I had to go in for an ultrasound to see what was going on and see if the meds were doing what they were suppose to be doing. 

Remember, I'm not typical.  The meds were not working like they should have been.  So, now the doctor has recommended a D & C (Dilationa and Curettage) to clean out the abnormally thick lining and cells.  Jay & I go Wed., January 27, 2010, for the surgery consultation, pre-op, and registration.  Of course, the PA said the doctor's recommendation is to go on a low-dose birth control after the procedure to prevent the lining from developing the hyperplasia again.  I reminded her we are still hopeful of conceiving another child. So she said she would leave that for us to discuss with the doctor at our consult.